Brain Drain #1: Making the World a Better Place In the Tiniest Possible Ways

It is difficult for me to embrace the changing of the seasons.  Particularly this year, as I have enjoyed a good deal of sunshine this summer.  Spending time in the sun has, in fact, become part of my daily routine.  I will miss it when the days grow short.

September is much different for me this year.  I left my job at Planet Care and have been doing odd jobs to make ends meet: jobs such as weeding gardens, cleaning out gutters, pet-sitting, interior house-painting.  I've been using my muscles, sweating, getting dehydrated, re-hydrating, but especially spending time in the sun. This sort of hard, physical work, this being outdoors and next to the sun, has helped me to feel my Self - an unadulterated sense of who I am, how to take care of myself, and how to begin to peaceably co-exist with others.  

I was walking my dog, Soupy Sales, this morning when I noticed a student walking to the Higher Education Area Transit (HEAT) stop.  She seemingly wanted to avoid any interaction.  But I spoke a greeting and wished her a good day.  She smiled in a genuine manner and seemed grateful for this small kindness.  And I wondered about that.

Do today's youth feel it is necessary to be prepared for bad things at all times?  Do most of us feel this is necessary?

I have a lot of compassion for today's youth because in my opinion they have lost a connection to their source: the earth.  Not all of them.  But it occurs to me that people who grow up in cities without easy access to nature are cheated.  They are exposed to a denser concentration of culture.  And maybe that serves as a means of connecting to the earth.  I may not know what I'm talking about.  It just seems to me that there is a fundamental urge in us all to feel connected to the land.  And this may not be immediately apparent to people who have never had access to nature.

Maybe I'm projecting.

But the youth of today have extremely challenging conditions in which to grow up.  There are not many decent role models in positions of leadership, for example.  The current state of the economy creates significant financial obstacles.  Prejudice comes in many varieties and manifests in extreme forms.  The environment needs tender loving care, yet power possessing beings who are controlled by greed and power lust will continue to do things to the environment to further hurt it.  I don't know how I would feel growing up in such a world as this.  When I was 18, I was aware of the bullshit in the world but felt a sense of hope, a sense that obstacles could be overcome.

I continue to experience this hope, though it has taken on a different form from that of my 18 year-old self.  When I was 18, for example, there seemed to be breathing room, a sense of expansiveness left on the planet.  This was in 1979.  Today, there is less breathing room, less space left in which to create something new.  Maybe this is just a perspective of my advancing age.  But it seems that as compared with 1979, there are many more obstacles to overcome in this world.

Far from making me discouraged, I believe in the resilience and the intelligence of human beings.  I know that we are smart.  I know we can create a better set of conditions in which our youth may grow and carry hope in their hearts.  I feel a deep responsibility to future generations to work like hell for the duration of my life to address all the issues I mentioned above.

I have a request to make of you at this point, gentle reader: I ask that you consider every action, every word spoken, with great care.  Consider how it will help.  And I would ask that if you see there is no use in contributing an action or a word to our planetary zeitgeist, if it would be harmful rather than helpful, would you please refrain from executing this action or this speech?

Be mindful that every small word and deed affects the greater whole.

In a similar vein, rather than focus on each other's differences, can we please focus on our similarities?  For example, I feel relatively secure in making the following statement: all of us wants to be healthy and happy.  In order for us to be healthy and happy, all of us needs a means of providing ourselves and our families with the resources to make these concepts a reality.  We all need healthy food, clean water, shelter, clothing, access to healthcare,  We all need these things.  Can we focus on this for just one moment a day?  Then stretch that moment to the next moment.  Until soon, we can accept this truth with all of our being.

I believe we can learn to love others and have compassion for their journey to achieve health and happiness.  But each of us needs to work very hard to attain this love.  We need to cease being judgmental and begin to stretch our imaginations to consider the circumstances in which others speak or act out.  I direct these comments to my liberal friends as well as my conservative ones.  Because we all are guilty of making reactionary judgments.

All I am asking is take a moment to think before speaking, before acting.  Just stop and think for a moment: how will this statement or this action help put the world in a better place?

Thank-you for reading.

Love,
kathyclark

Angel of the Lord

I've fallen into a bit of an existential crisis of late. This happens from time to time, it's nothing new and I know it'll pass.

My existential crises contain certain givens. I will worry about my True Calling, whatever that is. I will ponder my mortality. I will agonize about the power of money and the control it has over me. I will fret over how I might make a difference on this planet. I will contemplate my many health issues and the toll they take on all aspects of my life. And I will encounter a holy person.

Always, in the midst of an existential crisis, when I already feel like I've barely got a grip, a holy person will enter my world and shake it completely up. I marvel at the predictability of this and wonder how it is possible.

A couple of days ago a man named Jamaal came through my line with a case of dates. Fifty-some dollars worth of dates. I asked if he was about to through a party. He replied that he was in the midst of fasting - I don't remember for how many days - but he would break fast with dates and begin each day before sunrise with dates. I asked if this was Ramadan. He said, "You know about Ramadan?" I said I know some about Ramadan. But obviously I don't know when it occurs. He explained that this particular cycle is not Ramadan but another period of fasting with different fasting rules. I commented that this must require a great level of discipline. He said that "it builds discipline."

Jamaal told me that he is willing to give up food for the Lord. "And you know I love food!" Jamaal is an amiable man with a broad smile and kind eyes. And his robust body indicates he does indeed love food. He tells me that he would not give up food for his best friend. Not even for his mother. But for the Lord, yes.

I was taken aback by the level of devotion in this man's being as he spoke these words. I felt oddly underprivileged. I offered that I do not have that sort of relationship with God. I did not offer that I have never felt that degree of devotion to God.

Jamaal looked at me, smiling, and said, "Why not!?" I felt my eyes filling with tears, my chest constricting. "Kathy, why not?" He placed his hand on his chest and said, "This heart, every time this heart beats, God does that! Every breath you take, God does that! God gives you everything!"

I was momentarily stunned. What a staggering notion - there is some mysterious force at work inside this frame of flesh, blood and bone that we call "life" but could just as easily be called "God." Because it is just as mysterious. I mean scientists understand a good deal about how the body's systems work separately and together. But I venture to guess that they don't understand why a body works. What is at one's very source that causes the heart to beat and the lungs to respire?

And imagine for just an instant that God is the source of life in me. It would follow, then, that God is the source of life in everyone. So in each heart that beats, there is God. A generous, magnanimous entity in us all that connects us.

It was too large a concept for me to ponder for very long.

I thanked Jamaal for this reminder. I told him that I often forget these things. He said he will come see me every day to remind me if I need him too.

I was moved beyond measure. This stranger wants to come see me every day to give me a bit of magic? To stitch a thread of hope into the warp and weft of a dismal brain?

I felt a bit like the Grinch, whose heart grew three sizes at once.

In my existential crises, I lose God. I rarely have a firm sense of the presence of God, but I do have a spiritual nature. I do feel verklempt while watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" when Charlie Brown throws back his head in despair and asks for the meaning of it all and Linus, in a pristine voice of childhood wisdom, says this:

And there were in the same country Shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'fear not, for behold I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in the manger.' And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying 'glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men.

Maybe it is Linus' voice. Maybe it is the atmosphere created by Linus standing alone on stage in a follow spot. Maybe it is the familiar cadence and evocative language of the King James bible. Maybe it is Vince Guaraldi's soundtrack. But no matter how many times I watch this scene, no matter how old I am, I find myself suddenly filled with wonder and joy.

Jamaal instilled in me a distinctly Charlie Brown moment. I would have cried if I had allowed myself to.

Whatever is touched on in moments like this, it is real. I cannot label it, nor do I care to. Sometimes our daily grind becomes such a chore that we lose moments of wonder, moments of brilliance and magic. Whenever I am in one of my existential crises, I am completely removed from the wonderment of living - which simply is. It simply exists. And it need not be analyzed.

How tremendous was this encounter with a holy person in the check-out line at Planet Care during one of my most pronounced existential crises! I am overwhelmed with gratitude.