Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts

Thursday, November 30, 2017

The Sad Fate of Sally or Petey Possum

These days, I have so many tears lying just beneath the surface. So many. And there are not enough opportunities to allow these tears to flow. As much as I want or need to cry, I just can't.

One morning I was sitting on my front porch and a very large crow landed in the dogwood tree in our front yard. He was raising a ruckus about something. He faced the street in front of our house and ceaselessly cawed.  I talk to crows because they are so smart, I believe they understand me. At the very least, I think they can tell by the tone of my voice that I love them and I mean them no harm. So I asked the crow, "Do you have something to tell me?" He remained on the branch of the dogwood tree for a few more seconds yelling at the street and then he flew away.

I sat there, taking in the crisp morning air when I noticed something on the street. I put on my glasses and discovered it was a dead possum.

I went inside, put on some gloves and got a plastic bag in order to collect the possum's body. As I went outside, I noticed the person across the street in their car getting ready to back out of their driveway. This would almost certainly have caused further ruination to the poor possum's body. I rushed over to the possum's side, holding up my hand for the person to stop. Which they did. I gathered the body in the plastic bag. It was not completely taken by the process of rigor mortis. The blood was bright red. It seemed to me that this possum had been hit fairly recently.

I carried her lifeless body to the backyard and began digging a grave underneath a giant pine tree. I kept hitting roots and decided to dig around them. In this way, I sculpted an earthen cradle with a canopy of roots. I burned some sage and smoked the newly dug environs. I burned a candle and dropped some tobacco into the hole as a blessing. I removed the possum from the plastic, wrapped her in soft red cloth and tucked her into her resting place. She seemed comfortable there. As I covered her body with dirt, I began to cry. I apologized for the harsh end to which her life had come. I thanked her for her life. I told her I love her. And the tears flowed.

Once her body was covered, I heaped a pile of pine needles on top of her grave and placed some pine cones across the top. I put a piece of a cinder block at the foot of the grave. A fence stands at her head. So it is as if she has a headboard and a footboard to her bed underneath the tall pine tree in our backyard.

~~~

Towards the end of winter this year, I was awakened by a very rambunctious crow right outside my bedroom window. I dressed to go outside and see what the commotion was about. I discovered the crow was yelling at a possum in a tree. This went on for a long time, long enough for me to grab my phone and make a video of it. It seemed to me that the crow did not like the possum very much and was telling it to go away. The possum seemed nonplussed. Eventually the crow flew away and the possum ambled down out of the tree and on her way.

In the Spring, a baby possum found her way into our house. There was evidence that she had been making nightly stops to feast on dog food left in a bowl on the kitchen floor. My ally captured her and put her in a cardboard box with a little towel and some bits of food. We pondered what to do with her. Ultimately, we simply set her free in our backyard, which, even though we live by a street that is frequented by automobiles, provides a nice habitat for possums and rabbits and the like.

The next night, she returned. We captured her again, and again we set her free in the morning. I named this baby possum Sweet Sally Possum. I loved her. My ally and I continued this catch and release ritual with Sally until my ally decided it was time to set her free in a park. He captured her in a Have-a-Heart trap and drove her to a nice park with lots of trees and a stream running through it. I was a little bit sad about this move. At least if she remained in our backyard she would be safe, I thought. There was no harm in having her come in for dog food treats, I thought. I tried leaving dog food treats for her in the backyard. But if I failed at my task, she would return to the dog food bowl in the kitchen.

After Sally was taken away, another possum began to come in. He liked to show his teeth more than Sally, so I named him Petey. We played catch and release with Petey a few times before my ally drove him to the park as well.

I relate the story of the crow and possum and of Sally and Petey to you because I find it meaningful that this year has been bookmarked by episodes including them. A crow yelling at a possum in a tree, a crow yelling at a possum in the street, baby possums hanging out in our backyard, making nightly visits, and an adult possum buried in our backyard under a tall pine tree. There is no way to know if the possum I buried was Petey or Sally. But I honor them daily as I visit the possum's grave. The possums and the crows ushered in delight and tears. Both are necessary for my survival. I am grateful for this passage of time demarked by these beings and the quiet moments shared with Possum and Crow.

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Abortion That Lived

It was unheard of.  Uncanny.  But I know an abortion who lived.  He walks the streets angrily, fists clenched, jaw taut, eyes narrowed.  He trusts no one and hates with a passion.  His children are frightened of his wrath.  They move tentatively as if they are made of glass and afraid of shattering into a thousand pieces.  I have never seen his wife.

It is not his fault, really.  He was never meant to exist in this world.  His mother aborted him as a young fetus because he was formed as a result of non-consensual intercourse between her and her older brother.  That is to say, his mother was raped by a person who was supposed to care for her.  She was thirteen.

The young girl who was the unintended mother of this abomination of a man, went to one of those places that no longer exists: an abortion clinic.  She was treated well there.  Tenderly in fact.  The women who attended her were loving and supportive.  The doctor performing the abortion had no doubt in his mind that aborting this fetus was the correct and proper course of action.  He was glad to help this young girl.  When she returned home, however, she was shamefully treated by her father and her brother.  Their contempt of her weighed heavily on her for years until she managed to escape their fold.

There must have been some force present in the unborn child - a hatred exceeding all hatred - which kept it alive in a pile of biological refuse.  It thrived on the bloodied discarded dressings from other people's wounds.  It fed on trauma and fear.  It had no alternative really.  When it was large enough to wiggle about on its own, a mother rat took it and nursed it as one of her own.  The abortion that lived dwelt among trash piles and the stench of urine and human feces.

Oh God.  I can't go on.  It is too grim a story.  But you see, this is what I do sometimes.  I invent stories in order to try and explain why a person might be filled with such profound rage and hatred as to wear a shirt that says "Cure Abortion - the leading cause of death in America," to stand on sidewalks outside of Planned Parenthood and scream all manner of ugly judgments at women going inside, who actually attack and kill doctors who perform abortions.

People who do these things provoke such a violent anger inside of me and such a strong hatred directed at them, that I have to ask myself, how can I learn to love such awful people?  This is the task that has been given.  Love everyone.  Even the people who have wronged me.  How is this even possible?  I just don't know.  So I start with inventing these stories.  They help for a minute.

Hatred is an ugly beast.  It quickly spreads from one person to the next.  It is like a wild fire, burning uncontrollably, fanned by provocation and reaction.  Sometimes all I can do is simply look away from the provocation in order to break the cycle of reaction...in order to lessen the grip of Hatred.

I admire Martin Luther King, Jr.  His words ring true to me.  How to walk his talk is still unclear.  But his words ring true and pierce the dense and putrid air of hatred and bitterness.  I hold his words in my heart like a banner.  My personal battle flag.

The only way to fight Hatred is with Love. I need an army of Love Warriors for backup.

~~~  

Hatred and bitterness can never cure the disease of fear; only love can do that.  Hatred paralyses life; love releases it.  Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.  Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.      

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.