Bargain Hunters

People care a lot about money. I learned this in a big way today at Planet Care.

Among my first customers of the day were a couple - an older man and woman. They tend to be a bit gruff, especially when made to wait. After I finished serving the customer before them, the man practically pushed his groceries in front of the scanner for me. They had only a few items and I finished with them fairly quickly. I had started on the groceries of the next person in line when the woman, standing a good fifteen feet away from me, yelled, "The cinnamon buns are supposed to be 99 cents!"

"Excuse me?"

"The cinnamon buns are supposed to be 99 cents! They rang up as $1.99!!!"

"I see. Well, you can go see the gentleman at the Service Center. He'll refund the difference. I apologize. They're in our system at $1.99. And that is the only way I knew to ring them out."

"Well you need to change your system!"

Yes. I'll change the system. Because even though I work the cash register, I am really an IT specialist.

"Yes, we do."

"You know, Taj Mah Teeter would give us this item for free if this happened there! I'm not asking you to do that. I'm just saying that's how it would be handled there."

"Well unfortunately I can't do anything for you at this point. You'll need to go to the Service Center for a refund. Again, I apologize."

They harrumphed their way to their refund and gave the manager at the Service Center an earful. Never mind that they obviously have money. Never mind the fact that the only time they come in to Planet Care is when they want to redeem their coupons for free stuff. Never mind that they made a big stink about being overcharged by one dollar. Never mind.

Planet Care likes to bestow gazillions of coupons upon its customers or would-be customers. Each week, a new coupon - usually for free stuff - is emailed to everyone on Planet Care's special email list. It is the customer's responsibility to print out a copy of the coupon to bring with them to the store or to pull up an electronic version on their technologically superior and internet capable cell phone. They must show us, somehow, that they personally received this coupon. Of course, this system is highly abused. People email coupons to their friends. People print out multiple coupons and visit multiple times to take advantage of the weekly offerings.

As a result of the weekly email coupons, we cashiers must handle a variety of oddballs, tightwads, freeloaders and control freaks. I had three transactions in a row which exemplified this. The first was a woman who had left her coupon for a pound of free hamburger at home. She was an older lady and she whined about the fact that she'd forgotten her coupon. But she clearly had not forgotten to pick up her pound of hamburger. Which she was expecting to get for free. If she could only irritate the cashier and cashier's boss to the point of submission. She managed to accomplish this fairly rapidly and I gave her the pound of meat. "Don't forget the senior discount," she cooed in a sickeningly sweet tone.

Good grief.

The next customer in line had a coupon for free hamburger and another for 3 pounds of apples. As I processed her order, she asked in a timid middle-school manner, "I got a free lunch bag the last time I was in." The result of yet another email coupon. "But I left it on the floor and my dog ate it. I was wondering if I could get another one?"

Say what? Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell am I supposed to take that request seriously?!

"Ummm, I really don't know, m'am. Let me ask my boss."

My motivation in calling Bookkeeper Doug over was I just wanted him to experience the same degree of disbelief I had just experienced. Otherwise I would have just told the woman no. But I called Doug over. And he could barely contain his contempt. "I'll give you this one, but it's my last one. So you probably want to keep it out of the reach of your dog."

It wasn't really our last lunch bag. But I thought this provided the scenario with a nice touch.

I completed this transaction and the woman stood close by and examined her receipt. Apparently, she'd purchased steak and I'd neglected to use the $2 off per pound coupon. "It was attached to the hamburger coupon," she said.

"Doug! I messed up again!"

Next in line is a woman with piles of bags of frozen goods. Scythian Farmland offers a $1 off coupon for two bags of frozen vegetables. The woman hands me her pile of coupons and asks if I would mind taking them off as we go along to make sure she has the right number of bags of vegetables for the number of coupons she's brought in.

She's lost count? This is not a good sign.

I scanned two bags of vegetables then one coupon. I set the coupon aside. I scanned two more bags of vegetables and another coupon. I set that coupon aside. I did this ten times. She purchased twenty bags of vegetables in order to use ten coupons.

Then she had the coupon for the free 3 pound bag of apples.

Then she had the coupon for the free hamburger.

$1 off turkey bacon.

$1 off Planet Care cleaning products.

"And don't forget my senior discount!"

The tune of the Christmas song "Twelve Days of Christmas" danced through my head: twenty bags of veggies, 3 pounds of apples, one pound of burger, a dollar off the bacon, a dollar off the cleaner, ONE SENIOR DISCOUNT!!!!

Later on, I had one customer who had several items. Among them were six drinks. This lady knows the drill. There's a coupon that allows her to save 50 cents on one drink. It's in a book of coupons we keep in a rack by the Service Center. She pulls out six books of coupons in order to snag the six coupons needed for the purchase of her drinks. This particular coupon stipulates only one coupon per transaction can be used. So she asked to have each drink rung up separately so that 50 cents can be deducted from the cost of each one. In the first transaction - the one in which I sold her more stuff than just one can of drink, the coupon inexplicably did not work. 50 cents was not deducted from her purchase. She did not notice this until after I'd completed her sixth transaction. She immediately proceeded to the Service Center for a 50 cent refund.

These encounters would all be funny if they weren't accompanied by a quality of desperation. It's hard to define. The coupon grubbing and the expectation of free stuff feels panic-driven. It is like a milder version of looting. But we've had no natural catastrophe or national emergency. Yet. Maybe they are anticipating worse times. So they horde whatever they can. Because it makes them feel powerful and in control.

Times are uncertain. People feel vulnerable. The rich and powerful make life Hell for the underpaid, and under-employed. Everyone feels trod upon. So they unleash their fear and anxiety in the supermarket. They look for the deals. They seek out the free stuff and they aim to collect it. And woe to the person who stands in their way!