The World is Not a Cold Dead Place

I've developed the capacity to gauge the employment status of people who come through my line at Planet Care simply by their countenance. I guess it's a skill that reflects the current state of affairs in America. Maybe it's an evolutionary adaptation. Or maybe the reduced capacity to comprehend everything that goes on around me has freed up the sub-conscious space needed to excel in Extra Sensory Perception. I have experienced several ESP moments of late. They are mundane insignificant moments. But I'm listening to an inner knowing and trusting it is right and that is all that matters.

Case in point: today a woman who used to work at a tutoring facility in the same complex as Planet Care came in. I hadn't seen her in quite a while. In the past, her demeanor has always been extremely pleasant. She has one of those radiant smiles that seems effortless. She has a spunky, energetic gait. The atmosphere around her is relatively clean. By that I mean she doesn't seem to have a lot of psychic baggage which she carries around with her.

Today, her countenance seemed dark. An edginess permeated her atmosphere. Her smile seemed much more forced. She looked as if she had gained weight and her energy level seemed greatly reduced. I asked how things were going "down the way" but felt I already knew the answer. She told me she'd been laid off. And then the anger and frustration revealed themselves.

She's been without a job since February. She's collecting unemployment, ("Thank God!") "But," she says, "I need a freakin' job! I applied for the Community Coordinator position here. But the lady never got back with me. I emailed and emailed and never heard from her. Has that position been filled?!"

It has.

"That pisses me off! She never got back with me! Man! That really pisses me off."

The heaviness grows as the day progresses. People are tightly wound, quick to react negatively to any incident that conveniently presents itself. And as I ward off the onslaught of harshness, I contemplate the events of yesterday: of taking food to a friend with ALS / Lou Gehrig's disease, Tim LaFollette and his wife Kaylan Szafranski LaFollette. Tim's legs have stopped working. His right arm has stopped working. His left arm still functions but it seems like fine movements are difficult if not impossible to maneuver. His face twitches now, an indication that the muscle movements there are on their way out the door.

Tim has to be hoisted by way of a crane-type device and positioned onto a toilet every time he needs to eliminate the contents of his bowels or bladder. This is an elaborate process that involves the application of a body sling which is hooked up to the crane device. The crane is then manually pumped to lift Tim's body. After Tim is in the air, the crane is rolled to the desired destination. In this case, the destination would be a bedside toilet, much like a training potty for children only larger.

Kaylan demonstrates the entire process for me. And Tim eliminates his bowels. And he says, "Welcome to the Human Condition, kathyclark."

And the lady from down the way is out of work.

And I am acutely aware of the fact that with every breath I take, a new gush of oil enters the delicate oceanic ecosphere. And I seriously don't know what to do with that awareness. With each passing moment, life is destroyed. Our most generous Earth Mother has been raped and pillaged for so long and now her wound bleeds openly and steadily in the name of Greed. Our most benevolent giver of life now takes it away. Because we have misused and abused her resources. It makes me want to weep.

And I stand at the check-out line at Planet Care and must pretend this is not on my mind and that I am happy and enthusiastic about my job. Because so many people don't have one. A job.

And I must listen to the mundane complaints of the people around me as if they matter. As if weather matters. As if feeling bad mattered. As if personal indignation matters. People talk all day long about the most trivial shit. This is what we do. It's another aspect of the Human Condition. We no longer know how to be grateful.

The world is far from perfect. But I have not abandoned all hope.

A girl came through my line with her father. She was amusingly garrulous and self-absorbed in the way that teenagers should be. She brought a happy vitality to the scene, like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Her curmudgeonly father tolerated her in a good-humored way. When she mentioned her upcoming birthday and how she wanted a gift card from Planet Care, I asked her the date of her birthday. And an odd thing occurred: immediately upon asking, in my mind I heard the answer. June 28th. I was surprised and I spontaneously high-fived her in celebration of my ESP moment. This was a very cool sensation. Like catching a wave at just the right point and riding it all the way to shore. But then I became greedy for that vibe and asked what time of day she had been born. I was thinking it must have been around midnight. She wasn't sure, but she thought it had been 10:30 in the morning. And this is what happens when greed rules your thinking. You miss that wave.

These moments of supreme reality and the interactions that occur during them are all that currently matter to me. Well, these and the act of making things. The Earth needs creativity now more than ever. And creativity can manifest in a simple greeting or casual exchange. That's the fun of it, you never know exactly how it will manifest.

So while I observe the results of people motivated by greed and the quest for power, while I watch people destroy the planet and tear each other down with words or violence, as I feel increasingly powerless in the face of atrocities, I look for ways to put something of value into my immediate now. It isn't always easy. But I maintain hope in the simple awareness that wherever there is real human interaction, there is hope.

Which brings me to the title I selected for my blog. It is the name of a record by the band Explosions in the Sky, which I have on vinyl. It is a double album with music on three of the four sides. The fourth side has birds etched into the surface of the vinyl. The label on side one reads "The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place." The label on side two reads, "Because you are listening." Side three reads, "Because you are breathing." In the blank area between the etched birds and the label on the fourth side, the following words are etched in a circle so that they can be read infinitely: THE EARTH IS NOT A COLD DEAD PLACE BECAUSE YOU ARE LISTENING BECAUSE YOU ARE BREATHING THE EARTH IS NOT A COLD DEAD PLACE....."

And that about sums it up. All hope is not yet lost....as long as I keep writing.....as long as you keep reading......all hope is not yet lost.