Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Down the Rabbit Hole

I was invited to a tea party. Not the fun kind with tea and cakes. The kind where people with bad grammar and poor spelling skills make badly drawn signs and wave them about.

There's this man that comes into Planet Care several times a week. He usually has one to three children with him. In the past, we've engaged in conversations about politics and depression - his "wife's." He reminds me of a man I once dated. So I know he must be slightly unstable.

On Sunday he came through my line and asked how I've been feeling about things. I told him I feel great. Seemingly frustrated, he asked how I've been feeling, "you know," about things in general.

Oh. He wanted to have a political conversation.

The man I used to date was also my former employer. He would say, "Can we have a business conversation?" Or, "Can we have a personal conversation?" Or, "Can we now segue our personal conversation into phone sex?" As a result, I can pick up subtle cues and switch modalities quickly and efficiently.

So sure, we can talk politics.

I tell him I'm not altogether happy with the direction we're going as a nation. He seemed encouraged by this remark. He asked me for specifics. Specifically, I told him that I would like to see universal health care. His eyes grew big and scary wild. He said, "We can help each other out. Lookit, I help a neighbor. She's old and has very little money. I give her money. A lot. This is what we can do. We can help each other out. We don't need the government to do for us what we can do for each other."

"But we won't do that."

"But we can."

"But we won't."

At this point he invited me to come downtown on Tax Day for a tea party. Once I recovered from my disbelief, I said, "Absolutely not."

The man became almost teary-eyed as he pleaded with me to come. "I'll be there," he said. "Just come. Please. I respect your ideas. I think we can find common ground."

Whoa. The old "common ground" ploy. He hooked me. That phrase, "common ground," appeals to my internalized child: the part of me that believes people really can work out their differences peaceably and the whole world can sing in perfect harmony.

I told him I would consider going. He continued to plead with me, returning again and again to that common ground ideal. I reiterated that I would consider going.

Now here's my dilemma: if I indeed attend this tea party, should I do as I would really like to do and dress up as the Mad Hatter? Should I simply attempt to blend in with the crowd in order to observe and potentially open my mind? My gut says no to the latter. My internal self-protection device indicates that should I attempt to engage in dialogue with tea party attendees, I will be met with hysteria and hostility - two forces I'd rather not willfully expose myself to at this time.

Can we have a conversation about children?

I believe children come into the world in order to help adults remember the very pure state of Love that exists and from which all interactions can occur. Unfortunately, the adults are too filled with their own hatred and rage to experience this pure form of Love. And eventually, they bludgeon Love out of the psyches of their children.

In my opinion, the real Hope for the future rests on the shoulders of parents who allow their children to maintain an awareness of Love - and who will open their hearts and minds to experience this Love themselves. I believe that children can lead us in the right direction if we can step out of our ego-tainted mindset and follow.

I have a vague sense of that pure Love buried deep in the heart of my internalized child - that part of me that believes people really can work out their differences peaceably and the whole world can sing in perfect harmony. But the Mad Tea Party muddies things up. The Love flickers like a flame in a mine shaft. How does one keep the flame alive in the face of it all? By climbing out of the rabbit hole and falling down again and again, laughing all the way.

2 comments:

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  2. Holy shit Kathy Clark you just lumped my throat all up. Love you man.

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